Once in an elevator I spotted a young lady. I was on my way to work and she was on her way to who knows where. At that moment, to quote The Godfather (one of my favorite movies), I was hit by the “thunderbolt”. Visually stunned, I took in her beauty. Her skin was a deep chocolate, her hair a kinky mass of velvet black, her teeth white like new Easter Sunday shoes. I think everyone in the elevator noticed my dazed glare. She looked at me in a questioning manner. Almost as if by some compulsion I blurted, “You’re so beautiful.” She smiled and appeared shocked. I think everyone including me was shocked. She was not the kind of girl who would understandably have men in such a state of adolescent panic. She was not some modelesque type with the generally accepted wow factor.
I can only do my best to describe what I felt at that moment. It makes no sense at all that I would feel that way about a total stranger. In five minutes of her presence I thought of things that hadn’t crossed my mind in all the years of my romantic relationships. I saw in her a wife, the mother of my children, the keeper of my house, and the comforter of my soul. She was like a vessel that swept me away to a place that I have never been, but had always been looking for. Home!
I pondered the entire day on what had happened inside of me. The misery I felt as she exited the elevator. What was it about this woman that had unraveled me so easily? It came to me suddenly that I loved her blackness. Every detail of her was unapologetically and beautifully black. Every part of me understood and appreciated every part of her. It was as if I had been living in a strange country my entire life and unexpectedly met someone from my homeland. This was in fact my first taste of Black Love.
The very nature of a black man is to love a black woman. I’ve come to realize it after that experience. He can love any woman, but not to the degree he can love a black woman. I state this with no reservation and remorse for those it might offend. For that brief moment I loved her hair, because it was the very hair that grew out of my own head. I loved her skin, because it was the same skin that covered my flesh. I saw her as the mother of my children, because I knew when I looked at their faces I wouldn’t be able to see my half or hers. I would only see us. At that moment I loved myself more because I was looking at everything that makes me amazing. I could never love a woman of another race that way.
Black men through history have tried to embrace their blackness through various means. They have marched, grown locks, and changed their last names to “X”. In my opinion, none of these actions hold a candle to the self-love he could achieve through loving a black woman. That truly is the most revolutionary act. It rages against everything this oppressive society has taught us. Loving a black woman in a society where she is rejected and devalued by European standards of beauty is the ultimate rebellion and reclamation of one’s self. To find her beautiful is to realize the true beauty in yourself and to boldly attest it to all. The act of Black Love erases all the injustices and imbalances that have shaped the black experience in this country. It’s the coming home for men who were once sold away repeatedly. It’s the validation and healing for women who were once treated as sexual objects for breeding and entertainment. No other union can achieve this.
All love is great! Feel free to love whoever you want, however you want. From this black man to all black men and women, I say BLACK LOVE IS THE BEST. We all can love ourselves by ourselves. Black love is the only way to be able to love and understand yourself, through someone else. It’s the best way to love our people in an apparent and passionate manner. This world constantly beats us down for who we are. Black men, the act of loving a black woman is the most violent resistance possible. Black women, the act of loving a black man is the most beautifying process you can undergo. So let’s love each other….”till the end of time.”
About the Author: Mike Phil of Miami. I’m a liberal, post racial, Agnostic, pro-feminist. I believe common sense is a refusal to individually reason. If legally permitted I would be a proactive Darwinist.
The purpose of His Story is to tell the stories of Black Men young and old through videos and written work. Too often the story of Black Men is told by everyone else. His Story will be the catalyst to allow Black Men & Women to provide the positive contradiction to the prevailing Black male image of today.